On March 17, 2017 I Had This Dream

I’m sitting alone at a dimly lit bar in a country that doesn’t exist, surrounded by strangers. I have been alone and silent for something like months now. Something like months, but I can’t be sure because the silence has killed my performance of time. No one here knows me but they all look and look and look. Their eyes are all the same: wide and hungry, a grey wash with hard points of light piercing my temples from all around the room. The bartender slides me a cold cup of something, even though I never ordered. They say “Big moon coming soon, watch out for wolves”

I say nothing and stare up at them, taking a sip of something bitter and medicinal. The bartender smiles wide, pleasantly, showing off sharpened teeth. Outside, a sanctus bell rings thrice, far away. The people in the room close their eyes and press their hands together to pray. The room grows dark in the absence of the people’s gazes and my head stops throbbing for a second as I discover that the only breathing in the room is mine. I take another big gulp of the medicine and let my eyes slide closed as the third ring of the bell tolls in my chest and around me forever.

This is when I hear your voice from outside and see your shouting face superimposed through the wall “You need to move NOW”

My eyes snap open to find that all the people in the room have gathered very close to me, all baring large, gleaming, sharp teeth and those searchlights for eyes. Their hands are reaching out to grab me with long, talon-like fingers and some of them have grown tall and fat, taking up all the space, making the air humid and rank. What distinctiveness these people had before has faded into homogeneity as they all transformed into a gruesome and predatory horde.

As I open my eyes and discover these monsters, there is a pause–containing infinity–where I look up and into their eyes and my whole heart is calm. I am the eye in the storm of fear that looms around me. Then I chug the last of my drink and swing my barstool in a wide circle around me to get to the door, which I kick open with phenomenal strength, breaking the hinges and the wall.

From outside, bright light pours in, revealing that it was never night at all! And there you are, appearing in several different ways at once in that natural way that can happen in dreams. In one way, you are there as your usual self, wearing plain black clothes and no shoes. In the next way, you are there naked and smeared with mud, leaves, (blood?) as if you’ve crawled right out of the center of the earth. You are a blast of cold air on my hot face and you are the silence at the end of the ringing of the bells. There are other ways that I see you but I couldn’t describe them accurately so I wont try.

You turn and immediately run. I pursue you through empty streets to the outskirts of town, then through the hills and fields where I lose sight of you in tall, warm grasses. I lose sight of you and lose myself in the running, knowing that the wolves are chasing us–but running for the running. I meet you again some long time later against a sheer rock wall. We begin climbing, grabbing sharp rocks and thorny vines. The climb is arduous, and tears our hands and feet, and lasts another many years. I know that below us the wolf-people are climbing too, but their talons are tearing the vines to shreds and they are falling over each other. Still, some pursue.

Somewhere on the wall, you have drifted from my sight again but I keep climbing until I reach the very top. The pull that would have hoisted me over the edge actually propels me upward still, into the air, into the sky. As far as I can remember, I dissolve into blue.

(The vertigo of flying wakes me up here with a jolt)

(I’m fairly certain that I have forgotten as much about this dream as I wrote here)

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