Funeral for Store Brand Whole Grain
by Shady Rose
I’m just going to get rid of a fuck ton of stuff right now
instead of holding onto it forever
saying I’ll donate it
I just donated most of my clothes
and shoes and whatever
they probably don’t need the random half-broken shit lying around my house
I sure don’t
I need space I need space
fuck all these THINGS
I’m not sure what day it is
or if I went to work today
but I’m pretty sure I did
because there aren’t any angry voicemails on my phone
except from my mother who always leaves angry voicemails
finally got rid of the ants in the kitchen
only to find them by my desk
for fucks sake
but at least they’re not as bad as the centipedes that aren’t actually centipedes
those freaky horrible little things that cling to damp and dark
and don’t mind scuttling out
right underfoot
someone told me the other night that nothing was real
or something to that effect
and I was surprised when I didn’t blow away
like a piece of old newsprint in a puff of breeze
even though I was already teetering
and Not Quite Present
but maybe I felt grounded
or enclosed like a letter
already written and signed and sealed
well, I’m awake and sweet-smelling
which means I bathed today or yesterday
maybe that’s what washed me out of my head
for a minute there
or a day or two there
alright then
welcome back
it’s evening and I’m right here
but goddamnit an entire loaf of bread
suddenly went moldy
Kill Fear 